My Road to Reason by @mayrrra_tx

Family gatherings should be the last place that you feel out of place. In my case, it’s the exact opposite. The reason for this uneasiness is due to the fact that I am an atheist in a family of Catholics. Being that they are my family, I try not to let our beliefs come between us.  Although sometimes biting your tongue does you no justice.

Growing up, my family and I attended church every Sunday. My sisters, cousins, and I also participated in CCD every Saturday. I never really questioned any of these traditions in any way. Although, I do remember having so many unanswered questions, I never really wanted to ask for the answers because I knew that they would just lead to more questions. I would just be going in a circle. It wasn't until middle school when I began to question whether I was truly a Catholic or not. I remember watching so many series about evolution on TV and it just seemed to make more sense to me than what I was taught to believe. I never really spoke up about my change in mind until I started high school. Once I began making small remarks about me not believing in God, my parents didn't take it well. I knew that they wouldn't because it wasn't what they taught me nor wanted to believe.

They began giving me reasons on why I was thinking in that way. Those reasons being: my peers, what I watch on TV,and most importantly, the music I listen to. Little did they knowthat most, if not all, of my friends believed in God. They went to church just as much as our family did and always invited me. I just never went. My dad also noticed that I was constantly explaining to him about how we as humans came to be. He always said otherwise, but I kept on ranting about how it made more sense. Lastly, they also assumed that because I began listening to rock/metal that it somehow made me lose my faith. They were nothing but wrong.

My perception of religion changed due to the fact that religion made no sense to me. How was I supposed to believe that there was a man in the sky that controlled my fate? How was I supposed to pray for something that I wanted to happen instead of work for it? I can't seem to count how many times my family has made remarks about my being an atheist, especially when we have family gatherings celebrating a holiday or just a party. At first, it really bothered me that they didn't accept my beliefs. But if my parents taught me anything, it was to stand up for what I believe in and stand my ground. I soon came to realize that I was just as much entitled to my lack of belief as they are entitled to their religious beliefs.

Now that my entire family knows about my lack of religion, they don't seem to care about it much anymore. They no longer try to force church on me. They realized that I'm not going to change my mind. They still make small remarks here and there, but definitely not as much as they once did. No matter what they say, my mind is set. Religion isn't needed in order for me to get to where I plan on being. I determine who I am, what I do and where I'll be.

By @mayrrra_tx